How I got into prostate pleasure

Image: Tantus

It was my partner who first encouraged me to explore prostate pleasure. I was in my mid-forties, and until then I had only ever had vanilla sex. But she was more adventurous – she had lots of sex toys (even some butt plugs), masturbated frequently and was totally open about it. Soon after we got together she pushed me to try new things – exploration, as she called it. She told me about my P-spot, the equivalent of the G-spot, which on some level I kinda knew about. But I had never really thought about it much – and it was way out of my comfort zone.

Like a lot of straight guys, I initially worried that she might think of me as less of a man if I was into male-receptive anal play (though at the time I didn't know terms like that!). It wasn't that she did anything to make me feel like like that – I mean, she was the one that was encouraging me to explore it! My hangups were more to do with how we are conditioned to think that the man's role in sex is penetration and the women's role is to receive penetration. She gave me the reassurance I needed. “Society creates all these standards,” she told me. “Create your own.”

We started with my taint. The first time she touched it – or at least tried to! – it made me feel extremely uncomfortable, but it was also exciting. It definitely made me feel vulnerable. But at the same time I also kinda sensed that there was a kind of sexual pleasure in that vulnerability which was totally different to the sexual pleasure I knew that was centered on my dick. I had to consciously tell myself to relax and allow myself to enjoy this new sensation in this part of my body that until then I had associated almost exclusively with pooping.

I began reading more about prostate pleasure. For example, I found this Bustle article, which talks about the nerve endings in your perineum and how, when you apply pressure to it, “the sensation somewhat resembles anal play, so it’s a good introduction.” The whole article was a response to a question from a female reader whose partner had the same hang-ups I did about male-receptive anal play. “I know how good it feels, and I want him to be able to experience that kind of pleasure too,” she said. Sometimes women know more about male sexuality than we do!

Thankfully, my partner was persistent! She knew she was pushing my limits when she got close to my taint. But she could also tell I liked it. She said it was an erogenous zone, but most men were too scared to go there. “It is your mind thinking: I do enjoy it, but wait, maybe I shouldn't,” she said. I gradually began to relax enough to allow her to get closer to my hole, and finally to slide her finger into it. But if it hadn't been for her encouraging me, I probably would never have discovered prostate pleasure.

She even encouraged me to get a prostate toy to masturbate with. Initially I was thinking of starting with a butt plug to get used to the feeling of something inside me and thought about getting the Tantus Little Flirt (above), which looked great for a beginner (and I loved the name!). But as I read more about prostate pleasure and toys, the more it seemed like what I was going to need in order to have a prostate orgasm was a vibrator. I picked out the Tantus Prostate Play and messaged a pic of it to my partner. She replied: “I like it. A lot. Get lube.”

Next, read more about the Tantus Prostate Play and my first prostate orgasm!