Multiple orgasms

Yes, men can have multiple orgasms too! The refractory period which prevents men from having multiple orgasms comes from ejaculation, not orgasm. We think of them as the same thing but they're not – you can have an orgasm without ejaculating (“non-ejaculatory orgasms”). “Once you learn to separate orgasm from ejaculation, it is possible to have as many as eight or more orgasms during a prolonged session,” write Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian in The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure.

In articles on prostate pleasure, it is often said that you have to learn how to have multiple orgasms – and there is even a program to help you learn. According to an article in Men's Health, the key is strengthening your PC muscles so you can tense and relax them more (which is a subject for a whole other post). But for me it just happened without even trying pretty soon after I started playing with my first prostate toy, the Tantus Prostate Play. It was as if I was naturally multi-orgasmic!

Since then, I've tried other toys. My favorite is the gorgeous Lelo Hugo (above), which is much more powerful than the Prostate Play and also has a motor on the bulb that presses against your taint. I've tried different positions – on all fours, laying down on my back or on my front, sitting down (positions is another subject for a whole other post). I've also become more aware of what feels good. But the more experiences I have with prostate pleasure, the more difficult it is to say whether I am having multiple orgasms or just one long orgasm.

When I masturbate, my orgasm definitely comes in waves. As I tense my PC muscles and pull the tip of the vibrator onto my P-spot it builds up until I can't hold it any longer and I relax and it peaks in a moment of pure pleasure. Then after a few seconds I want that feeling on my spot again and I tense again and pull the vibrator back onto it. But if each of those peaks is an orgasm, it means I am having way more than eight orgasms! I mean, I literally lose count.

Often when I masturbate, it feels like after countless peaks, my PC muscles gradually push my vibrator out of me – and when that happens it feels as if the most sensitive “right there” spot that keeps my orgasm going is moving through my ass towards my hole. Eventually my vibrator slips out or I gently ease it out, and I hold it on my taint, still buzzing, but even though it is not even inside me anymore, it feels like it is, squeezing the last of my orgasm out of me. Then, if I still have the energy, I slide it back in again and it starts all over again – more orgasms, often even more intense than the first time.

Sometimes, after I have been masturbating for a while or when I switch to a different position like laying flat on my belly with my legs together, something else happens. When I relax my PC muscles and give in to the orgasm, that peak just goes on and on – like a constant stream of pleasure. At that point I don't even need to tense and relax to create those waves. It's like one long wave rolling gently through me.

So if you ask me whether I have multiple orgasms or one long orgasm, my answer is: “It's complicated!” It feels like I sometimes have multiple orgasms and sometimes one long one. Even when it feels more like multiple, it's not like I can count how many I've had, and it doesn't really even feel like a series of separate, easily-identifiable orgasms. It's more like at different moments there are different levels of intensity and it feels good in different places and in different ways. So in the end does it matter whether I am having multiple orgasms or one long orgasm?