When ejaculating is an anti-climax

Image: b-Vibe

I jacked off this morning. It’s a pretty rare occurrence for me these days. I don’t miss it. Mostly I don’t even think about it. Occasionally it will occur to me that I can’t remember the last time I ejaculated. But when I’m feeling horny, it’s a prostate orgasm I want, not a regular orgasm. I do sometimes stroke my dick, but it’s like foreplay before the real thing. After a while my attention shifts to my prostate and I forget about my dick. So I’m not sure what made me decide to jack off this morning. But here’s the thing. It was a disappointment.

Now that I have experienced prostate stimulation, I start to crave it even when I’m stroking my dick. I’ve tried jacking off with a plug inside me, but it didn’t feel good when I ejaculated – maybe I was distracted by the plug. So this morning while I was stroking my dick, I pressed on my taint instead, i.e. just external prostate stimulation. According to The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, pressing on your "sweet spot" during climax can make your orgasm more powerful. (I’d also seen porn clips in which a woman jacks a guy off while massaging his taint and it had turned me on.)

But stroking my dick while pressing on my taint didn’t work for me – which just goes to show reality is different from fantasy. The pressure on my taint made me want internal prostate stimulation – to have that feeling of being filled up. It was confusing. When I concentrated on my dick, I felt I was getting close to ejaculating, but when I concentrated on my prostate, I wanted more stimulation deeper inside me. When I reached the moment of no return, I tensed my PC muscles almost instinctively and I came. But my climax felt weirdly anti-climactic.

I think the anti-climactic feeling was partly because of how quick a regular orgasm is – it’s just that momentary intense feeling of pleasure and it’s all over. For a long time I’d just thought that was how a male orgasm was – I had no idea a man could have multiple orgasms – but now I’ve experienced how a prostate orgasm just goes on and on, a regular orgasm feels totally unsatisfying. But there was also something else about the feeling that was different than a prostate orgasm – and not in a good way.

The best way I can describe it is it felt more like relief than release, a kind of dull pleasure compared to the exhilarating feeling of a prostate orgasm. It just wasn't as satisfying – like, was that it? Now that I'm processing the experience, I'm wondering what happened. Have I "forgotten" how to have a regular orgasm? Or does a regular orgasm just not feel as good to me now that I have experienced what a prostate orgasm feels like? I can't really tell! But it really shows how disconnected ejaculating has become from orgasms for me.

I guess next time I could just jack off without touching my taint or even thinking about it at all – in other words, just focus on my dick like I used to. But now, even when I try to do that, my PC muscles start to tense as I stroke my dick and I crave prostate stimulation – which is how I end up masturbating with a vibrator, forgetting about my dick altogether, having prostate orgasms without ejaculating, and not even missing regular orgasms at all. After this morning’s anti-climactic experience, I’m even less likely to be ejaculating again any time soon.